Important things to know about divorcing an alcoholic

The consequences of periodic or ongoing excessive drinking can lead to the deterioration of the communication channels, as well as the intimate relationship between the couple. Specific manifestations of such deterioration may include arguments, serious financial problems, acts of infidelity and acts of violence. Getting a restraining order can be a complicated process. And it’s important to understand that not all states have laws that allow you to get a restraining order in a divorce.

  • But I love my kids more than I love myself so i will stay.
  • Further research found stress related to alcohol problems resulted in reduced marital satisfaction.
  • Sixteen years ago, I separated from him and told the courts about his drinking and the abuse that came along with it.
  • Before you go, make positive you have a secure spot to go such as a friend or family member’s residence.
  • This change is what causes the person to exhibit drinking behaviors, like driving while impaired, saying mean, awful things, passing out.

AspenRidge Recovery methodologies prove to support clients through recovery and long-term care. We can address fear and healthy coping mechanisms to combat any doubt and uncertainty that either an individual or family may feel during these difficult times. It’s important to understand that achieving sobriety is possible. Counseling programs have proven to aid in recovery, and teach individuals trigger techniques that help reduce risks of relapse. Most provide group and individual support while offering skillset training for living alcohol-free.

My father was an unrelenting alcoholic who drank himself to death when I was 22. His ability to wreak financial and psychological havoc on my family was profound, despite their separation. It is only in extreme circumstances when the court will consider revoking all visitation privileges from one of the parents. This is especially true if there are also findings of domestic violence. However, if a parent can show that he or she is actively addressing an addiction and staying sober, they will have a chance to at least continue visiting with their children on a regular basis, supervised or not.

If you have children and you fear for their safety, make sure the attorney is aware of your concerns so you can develop a custody plan to keep them safe. Regarding the correlation between alcoholism and divorce, the real issue seems to arise when only one spouse is the heavy drinker in the marriage. Studies have shown that when one spouse has a drinking problem, the couple is much more likely to divorce. You don’t need to tell the whole story of your divorce to everyone but you do need to tell it to your divorce lawyer.

On top of all the usual divorce-related challenges and complexities, there is the health of the alcoholic spouse to consider. Always contact a divorce attorney for better help navigating the process. They can work toward the best outcome for you and your family.

Because these situations can vary so much from one family to another, there is no one solution nor could any solution be found in any article. If you asked 10 different spouses who have gone through this experience, you may get 10 different answers.

AspenRidge Recovery provides telehealth addiction treatment using secure online technology. Our exclusive online substance abuse treatment programs and dual diagnosis therapy offers more people access to evidence-based care. Our aim is to address substance abuse issues that impact individuals and families. Through our ongoing therapy support, we can help you rebuild relationships during recovery. It can permeate family settings, particularly having a powerful impact on spouses and children.

One reason why many marriages end in divorce is because of alcoholism. Living with a partner who has alcohol use disorder can be extremely taxing, challenging, and unpredictable. But before you divorce an alcoholic spouse, there are some things you need to know. When people use the termalcoholism, they are typicallyreferringto an alcohol use disorder, the medical diagnosis of someone with an alcohol addiction. An alcohol use disorder is a legitimate medical condition that causes changes in the brain, leading a person to seek alcohol compulsively, even when serious consequences result. If you are struggling with an alcohol addiction, gettingaddiction treatmentmay not impact your divorce proceedings, but it can change your life.

Alcohol Abuse May Lead to Safety Concerns for You and Your Child

And if you are married to an alcoholic, it can make things even tougher, intruding on the relationship and maybe even leading to divorce. Divorces are complex proceedings especially when there are children involved, so a little organization goes a very long way. We have a comprehensive list of financial and legal documents to gather in preparation for departure. If an alcoholic spouse is wreaking havoc on your life, organizing these documents can have an even greater impact.

Rather it is to shed light on the disease of alcoholism and how ithijacks families. It can also cause them to suffer serious health problems if they don’t get treatment. At this point in the article, it might be obvious that when divorcing an alcoholic spouse, a divorce attorney is necessary. This is especially true if you have a lot of property or debt to divide, or if you have children and need to create a custody agreement. Deciding to divorce a partner who has alcohol use disorder can feel emotionally draining, scary, and overwhelming. Keep in mind that the divorce and recovery process for you may take longer than anticipated and it’s critical that you have a healthy self-care routine, as well as a strong support system in place before you begin this process.

When one partner is an alcoholic, the courts will always favor the non-alcoholic parent. However, you will have to prove alcohol use disorder if your partner denies the claims. We have more information on how to prove alcoholism in divorce further down this page. eco sober house cost While one person may seem like a highly functioning alcoholic, others may spend most of their time asleep on the couch. Determining how your spouse’s alcoholism will affect certain aspects of life, such as child custody, often requires the use of expert witnesses.

Find a good lawyer

If you’re divorcing someone because of alcoholism or substance abuse problems, it may change the course of how the divorce proceeds and impact things like child custody. If there is solid proof that a person is an addict either through evidence that they have been in a rehabilitation facility before, through drug tests or criminal records, it will affect them in the divorce proceedings. The court will be hesitant to grant them certain privileges. For you to know how your case will go, you have to work with a family law practice in Altamonte Springs that has worked on divorce cases involving addicts in the past.

Residents work hard daily to develop new skills, values, and coping mechanisms for approaching life in early recovery. During this process, residents develop close friendships with their peers and become connected with the Los Angeles recovery community. Take advantage of Design for Recovery’s safe space to regain control over your alcoholism and begin to mend your relationship. At Design for Recovery, we believe that addiction recovery involves more than just physically abstaining from substances — it involves building a new way of life. Romantic partners can face numerous challenges as they navigate substance abuse and its ongoing effects. It might include covering for a spouse when concerned family members recognize signs of alcohol issues.

  • Remember, you are the parent and they should not be comforting or taking care of you.
  • Regarding the correlation between alcoholism and divorce, the real issue seems to arise when only one spouse is the heavy drinker in the marriage.
  • In some cases, the negative effects of alcohol abuse on marriages can be severe.

Visitations are only allowed if the alcoholic spouse attends support groups. The parent with alcoholism can only visit their children while sober. You can also ask the courts to perform random alcohol testing on your partner. If high levels of alcohol are found in their system, this can act as proof that they have an alcohol dependency. An essential aspect in the treatment of addictive disorders is consideration of the needs of the family members, friends, co-workers, etc., who are directly and indirectly affected in a variety of ways.

Alcoholism is a very common problem today especially among married couples. An alarming rise to alcoholism gave way to an increase in divorce application for the same cause. Unfortunately, it is impossible to force an alcoholic to change. Treatment will generally only be effective if the person is ready to make the changes in his or her life. However, there are many ways to get help if you are married to an alcoholic. Your alcoholic partner may be required to abstain from drinking alcohol before and during visitation.

Other W1 predictors of W2 marital dissolution

If you want to increase the likelihood of the addict seeking treatment, do the research for them. Look into both inpatient and outpatient options as well as sober living alternatives. If your spouse sees that there are different options and that they have some kind of agency, they are more likely to be open to starting treatment.

Even though California is a no-fault divorce state, the court may still consider substance abuse or alcoholism during your divorce proceedings. Ultimately it comes down to your ability to provide sufficient, concrete evidence. Evidence of abuse is not always brought to the court’s attention by a spouse. A court might also become aware of the concern through another witness or Child Welfare Services.

I can’t trust him not to drink and drive with them or not to be totally drunk at home with them. Plus he can be very spiteful, I can just see him not answering his phone when I call to check on them. He always talks about wanting to the them to a baseball game. Being married still, I can say no you aren’t taking them because you will get drunk and say you’re fine to drive and drive them home. If I was divorced, he would pick them up for his weekend and id have no say where he can take them. I’ve talked to a lawyer about these concerns and unfortunately there’s nothing that can stop him until he’s caught driving drunk with them.

Remember that occasionally drinking too much doesn’t mean your spouse has an alcohol use disorder. Medically monitored detox program for those who are battling chronic drinking or other forms of drug addiction. Our prepared medical staff is ready to guide you through the withdrawal process and design a treatment plan that fits your recovery goals. If you are concerned that your spouse may be exhibiting symptoms of alcoholism, you can suggest getting an alcohol assessment to determine the extent of the drinking problem. Many alcohol abusers are able to hide their disease from health care professionals. Most couples acknowledge that if you work at it, with some give and take, lots of patience and understanding, marriage can be a rewarding and fulfilling life-long partnership.

How to protect yourself financially when divorcing an alcoholic

If she gets a DUI, for example, you’re likely the one getting phone calls from the police, paying to bail her out of jail or seeing your car insurance rates go through the roof. Smith PH, Homish GG, Leonard KE, Cornelius JR. Women ending marriage to a problem drinking partner decrease their own risk for problem drinking. Sanchez L, Gager CT. Hard living, perceived entitlement to a great marriage, and marital dissolution. Leonard KE, Eiden RD. Marital and family processes in the context of alcohol use and alcohol disorders.

Strategy sessions are designed for those who are serious about their family law case, want to make informed and intelligent choices, and seek result-focused representation. This unpredictability may be deliberately sabotaging employment or their ability to earn income within the work environment. In a personal environment, it can manifest itself through the alcohol abuse’s escalation as well as how person handles the ongoing stress.

For instance, I became a designated driver at the age of 12. The witnesses to my father’s alcoholism were his immediate family and the waitresses who cut him off. The hiddenness of alcoholic behavior puts even more pressure on you to create a record. Have reports and letters from mutual friends and family submitted to family court regarding your partner’s drinking and their subsequent behavior. These situations are very individual on a case-by-case basis, so it is best to contact a family law attorney to discuss the specifics of your case and determine next steps.

divorcing an alcoholic

In such situations, the most effective way to protect the children is for there to be supervised visitation, if the court is going to make any visitation orders. Our firm handles divorce and family law cases in each of the seven Southern California counties. Visitation rights only when the addicted parent is sober or clean. Design for Recovery empowers men struggling with addiction by providing 24/7 support, mentorship, and teaches them how to live healthy, fulfilling lives.

There are 12-step programs, such as Al-anon, CoDA , ACoA and other programs designed to support the partners of people with addiction. It can also be helpful to find a therapist who specializes in addiction and recovery, for individual and/or couples counseling. Cranford JA, Floyd FJ, Schulenberg JE, Zucker RA. Husbands’ and wives’ alcohol use disorders and marital interactions as longitudinal predictors of marital adjustment. The AUDADIS-IV was also used to assess lifetime and past-12-months drug use disorders (DUDs; see Conway et al., 2006; Stinson et al., 2005). A separate module of the AUDADIS-IV was used to assess lifetime and past-12-months nicotine dependence.

“The effects of alcohol use on marital functioning.” Clinical Psychology Review, December 2003. Alcoholism has led to a lack of physical and emotional intimacy in the marriage, and one spouse desires more. They no longer want to financially support an alcohol-dependent spouse who does not work.

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